The Women Come and Go

To be honest

2011-10-23T17:03:00.001-05:00

I never really expected to be with someone for 8 months.
It's a long fucking time.

It's been mostly amazing.

How funny.

2011-04-28T02:00:00.002-05:00

I'm in love.
He's in love with me.
But for the first time in this whole scenario of mutually falling madly in love with each other at rapid speeds, I kind of wish I weren't.
And, as amazing as this is, I can't even fathom what the next few months are going to be like for us.
August will tell all.

everything you ever wanted to know about silence.

2010-10-27T21:16:00.003-05:00

you only think you're lonely.
you aren't that lonely.
it's just better to be lonely than the alternative.

I'm sorry

2010-10-17T00:08:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything. To be honest, I've been really busy doing homework and looking for a job. It's 12.am on a Saturday night and I'm not partying. Instead, I'm listening to Glassjaw and trying to finish some homework and things I haven't been able to work on during the week. My slash fic has disintegrated and I've fallen head-over-heels in love with Daryl Palumbo.
It's interesting how I bounce from obsession to obsession, but whatever.
Adam Carson's not off the hook yet.

But for now...

I'm such a punk.

Trufax.

2010-09-27T01:00:00.001-05:00

College is totally what you make of it. And if you wanna sit around and watch Family Guy all the time and eat oatmeal, well... That will be the extent of what you learned and experienced in college.

We'll censor the ending for me, for you.

2010-09-14T18:37:00.002-05:00

I renamed my blog because I guess I had to.

I feel bad not telling you that the memorial went super well. It was a total relief. I can't believe it's all over (or, well, mostly over) because we'd been dealing with this for too long.

I just kind of want to be alone tonight and I'm okay with that.
Being a junior in college is awkward.
I'm not okay with that.

One. Big. Dark. Room.

2010-09-02T17:35:00.000-05:00

Right now, I'm trying to write the speech for my Nana's memorial. I keep getting distracted and I can't remember what I want to say. It's in the format of letters that I would have written if I had written them back then. I'm trying to include memories, and I just can't remember all of them. All the special times seemed to have happened when I knew the end was near (but obviously not as near as we thought.) We always thought we had more time. My mom and I unearthed a ridiculous amount of old photos, and we don't even know who most of the people are. My entire Titus family history is sitting in a box in our living room. Isn't that crazy? I don't even know what to think.

The day after tomorrow is the memorial. We've gone through so much hell for the last month, I can't actually imagine what it's gonna be like. It's so awkward. And the one person I want to be there, I can't get a hold of her. I miss Sammo so much, it hurts.

I'm just really waiting for the day when someone asks, "How did it all go?" And I can tell them every single little thing that went awry when we thought it was gonna work out. Can you imagine a full summer full of "This is going to work out! I can't believe it's finally going to be okay!" followed immediately with, "I can't believe we're back here again." It's the hardest feeling in the world.

Oh, and I'm lactose intolerant. What is my life?

He should have done better.

2010-08-26T17:47:00.002-05:00

The new AP hates Jarrod Gorbel's new album, but then again, they feature crappy pop-punk and pseudo-hardcore that I can't stand. So whatever. I've been in love with Jarrod Gorbel since I was 14 (I'm 20 now) so my love for him isn't gonna change.
His CD comes out Tuesday, but check out the new single here:

http://jarrodgorbelmusic.com/

He's such a great musician. He'll get his recognition. <3 (That isn't from One Tree Hill)

Hey, you.

2010-08-26T16:35:00.001-05:00

You're a creeper.

But I like it.

Tell Adam I said hi.

I'm the watch you always wear,: hold on!

2010-08-19T01:39:00.000-05:00

I'm the watch you always wear,: hold on!: "I've decided that I only have one wish, really. And it has nothing to do with what me or anyone else can do. In almost a year, I'm going to..."

Now I'm wishing my wish had come true :(

Today.

2010-08-15T23:56:00.004-05:00

Jade changed his layout to mine, which is really weird because when I went to read his blog, I thought I landed on mine. This leads me to believe that he started reading mine, really liked the layout and used it on his. So now, I freak out because Jade might read my blog. To be honest, I'm more interested in his drummer friend. If he (Jade) started reading it when I was 14 or 15, then we'd really be screwed.

So, if he wants to pass along my Tumblr to Adam, both of them will know how much I dig Adam and how hilarious I find Davey. http://jennifersalome.tumblr.com/
You can look at it, too, and figure out how awesome I am. Have fun!

ETA: I changed my layout now so Jade and I aren't creepily matching. Creeper.

I love you, Nana.

2010-08-05T03:13:00.001-05:00

I'm too tired to say too much.
But I'm glad Nana's not in pain anymore.

Love you all <3

2010-08-02T18:38:00.001-05:00

Yeah...
Things might not be looking too well.
I'll keep you posted.
Thanks for everything.

--JSN

I'm back.

2010-07-27T03:08:00.000-05:00

And I'm so nervous.

http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=8401

Inception.

2010-07-25T20:11:00.000-05:00

I can't wait for the real life to start up again.

Writing nerd spam

2010-07-08T05:11:00.001-05:00

He started out as just someone who was going to listen to everything DHav had to say.
Now... I think I turned this guy into a character, a personality.
I had no clue I was gonna do that when I started.
Sometimes, my characters amaze me.
They really do write themselves.

after everything

2010-06-19T16:38:00.002-05:00

once it's over, it's done. i'll do what i do, and i'll try my best. i have my goal, and i'll get it done.

in case you care, i have the first section of my fic ready to be viewed by people who could probably care less. it's a prologue that tells you almost nothing of what happens. i'm going to publish it in google docs because i don't like posting it here.

so, if you're still into afi slash a little bit, you can read it here: clicky

if that doesn't work, then this was not meant for you.

I'm trying very hard to be here.

2010-06-08T14:42:00.002-05:00

Once again, AFI has successfully taken over every aspect of my life.
The good thing? It means I'm playing lots of guitar again.
And...
I'm kind of writing.
So, if anyone out there can beta...

Yeah...
The truth is, there's only one person in the world I trust to beta anything I write. I don't know if she would ever help me again.

Hallelujah

2010-06-02T01:54:00.003-05:00

I have a massive headache.

This song is beautiful. The performance, his singing, his guitar playing (finger picking good!) and ... ugh. Is it too late to be sad about it all?

Sometimes, when things aren't going all that great in yours (or someone else's) life, the best thing to do is just sing "Hallelujah" that other parts of your life are all right...

..."Gentle Lovers"

2010-05-30T01:06:00.002-05:00

So, as I think I said in an earlier post, I've been doing some AFI research because of a stupid project I wanted to do.

Found out that Davey was engaged to Matt Skiba's current wife. Some say ex-girlfriend, but I've read ex-fiance, too. I think I actually heard it from Matt Skiba himself on an interview.

Then, I found out that Mark Stopholese is now in a cycling group called "Gentle Lovers". Found it on an AFI board, but couldn't find anything through Google. Alas, here he is with friends in pink spandex (he's the one in black)

Then, here, with some wicked tats and pink spandex.

Apparently, he isn't Mark Stopholese, but Mark Blackwelder, or something.

Weird. My mind is subtly blown.

Oh, you look so tired....

2010-05-08T04:23:00.002-05:00

I've rekindled my obsession with AFI, and all that comes with it. This includes the music, playing their songs on guitar, wishing I wasn't emotionally bankrupt when I saw them in October, wanting to hang out with Davey, and reading/writing SLASH.

I'm really sorry.

This was gonna happen sooner or later.

we are writing...

Lewis Takes off His Shirt.

2010-05-01T15:51:00.002-05:00

It's May Day and that means that Jennyfuredede is done with school. It's so bizarre being back home. Not in the way that, "Oh, I was so used to college." because I'd be home for weekends quite often, actually. It's just awkward to think that I'm going to be back home with 4 months to do almost nothing.

My bedroom is an absolute unpacked mess. I can't seem to motivate myself (surprise?) to clean and unpack everything. It requires copious amounts of laundry and cooperation on my sister's part (we share a room), so I don't see it happening anytime soon. Nerds... I like being able to walk in my bedroom.

The end came suddenly and abruptly, that's for sure. I miss my friends already, and I've started planning parties with Lily. This summer will hopefully be a good one. I'm beginning to get antsy already. I've only been home since Wednesday night.

Here's the video from which this post takes it's name. It's weird.

If I was a boy at sea...

2010-04-05T23:21:00.004-05:00

This week(end)'s playlist is as follows and all are on the same LP by Discovery.

Orange Shirt
Osaka Loop Line
Can You Discover?
I Wanna be Your Boyfriend (ft. Angel Deradoorian)
So Insane
Swing Tree
Carby (ft. Ezra Koenig)
I Want You Back (In Discovery)
It's Not My Fault (It's My Fault)
Slang Tang

I would advise you to listen to all of these songs right now. And, if you're really out of the loop, check out Wes and Rostam's other bands; Ra Ra Riot and Vampire Weekend.

Things that annoy me recently.

2010-03-23T23:27:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't updated recently, but eh. I've been busy being awesome. But I have a short list of things that have really bugged me recently.

1-- I hate people banning books. Maybe it's because I grew up reading "inappropriate" material. But I think literature should be shared by all. If you're offended by it, don't read it!

2-- I hate reading "high theory" articles. I know they're a necessary evil in my Feminist Theory class, but when I have to read tons of articles that don't deal a lot with people's experiences, I get bored and I don't want to read anymore.

3-- I hate people who are against the health care bill. That statement sounds harsh, but I'm keeping in theme with what I've been saying. But anyway. Most of the time, they're so misinformed about everything. "Socialized medicine" is the most misleading quote I've ever heard. It's so dumb. Does anyone know anything about anything? It's so obnoxious.

4-- I hate boys. That one's pretty much self explanatory. Except I like the one I like.

MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEEKEND YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

hold on!

2010-03-01T04:08:00.002-06:00

I've decided that I only have one wish, really. And it has nothing to do with what me or anyone else can do.

In almost a year, I'm going to turn 21. At that time, Nana will be 84. Her birthday is a week after mine. On March 27 2011, I'll turn 21. That means, I'll have exactly one week to say, "Nana's four times older than me!" On April 3, 2011, Nana will turn 85.

My wish is that we can get to that week, and have all seven days of it.

I Don't Know if You Know

2010-01-11T23:31:00.003-06:00

Still OBSESSED with Neon Indian's "6669 (I Don't Know if You Know)" and it always used to put me in a spring mood, but now since I've been listening to it throughout fall and winter, it's just become one of those whenever songs. I guess I'm all right with that. But it still conflicts when you love a summer song in winter.

I've been up since 6.45 this morning. It's been a super long day. Mondays are going to kick my buttocks royally. I was thinking about going outside for a moment, totally forgetting it's 11.33 at night, not day at all. I'm really exhausted. Roomie is having a party right now, and I think I'll indulge her. But I do want to get some French done in case mom stops by for a visit tomorrow.

Anyway, I don't want to end my roommate's party. She never partied last semester, so I think I'll let her party for now. But if it becomes too much of a problem, I'll confront her about it. We're cool.

I'm absolutely starving. I have leftover Chinese food in the fridge, but I don't wanna go back to my dorm if I'm not going to bed quickly thereafter. And you better believe I'm going to crash.
Besides, it's not good to eat Sesame Chicken right before going to bed anyway...

But it's calling my name like a sonofabitch.

Grapevine Fires.

2010-01-06T03:25:00.004-06:00

I know I haven't posted in a long time. Holiday is almost over. I have new roommates; one Norwegian and one German. It looks like things are going to work out!

I did, however, find this...
http://lpc.linkinpark.com/journalview.php?id=285427

My first ever "blog" from '03/'04 when I first moved to Zimmerman.
It's painful.

Sometime soon, I'll post a real entry with all things that are good.
Happy New Year.

Ladies and Gentleman, A Suburb has Left the Building...

2009-12-15T15:09:00.003-06:00

So, it's been a really hard week. I'm not sure if any of you knew The Suburbs, but aside from Prince, they were the biggest act in Minneapolis during the 80s. My uncle was a guitarist in the band, Bruce C. Allen. For lots of college kids, the Suburbs were pretty much a favorite band. Think Atmosphere, only way less hip-hop and maybe less national attention. (It's the only Minneapolis act I can think of that's big here right now.)

He died last Monday night.

I could list all the links of places that have covered his death, but that would take forever. WCCO did a 2 minute spot on the 5 o Clock news on Wednesday. John Bream did an article for the Star Tribune. The City Pages did a couple articles. Spinner.com wrote one. Curtiss A did a tribute at his annual John Lennon show. Last, but certainly not least, people came out in the masses at the memorial held yesterday at Central Lutheran Church.

I meant to post something about this sooner, but it's been busy and hard to talk about.

My Nana is such a trooper. At the hospital last Monday (when we said our goodbyes), I couldn't look at her. I was filled with all the empathy that I wouldn't wish on anyone, only slightly imagining the pain that she was going through. Bruce and I weren't all that close (I hate to blaspheme the dead, but it was his fault, not mine) but I couldn't help but feeling sad. I can still hear his voice at family dinners starting out a sentence, "Well, I think..."

And we're both guitarists. I really wanted him to help me out and teach me things, but that never really happened. The only good thing ("The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed...") is that my cousin and I reconnected. It's been 12 years since I've seen her, and it's been such a blessing. She's like the older sister I always really wanted but never had.

The memorial yesterday was all right. It was really beautiful. And, I had no idea that Curtiss A and my Nana knew each other. He had always seemed as somewhat of a celebrity after going to the Lennon show last winter. Maybe I was star struck, but it was somewhat comical, my reaction. There was literally a line of people (at the reception) who wanted to say hi to Nana. I'm sure she enjoyed it very much.

I kind of wish my mom was there. I didn't know what to do with all the people I didn't know, but had heard of. Some people I know I'd met on Monday, but I didn't remember their names. Mom would have. Since Laurie, Kricket, Cynthia and Mom weren't there, I was pretty much the closest family member to Bruce at the memorial (aside from Nana.) If I had a dollar for every person who came up to me asking about Cynthia, well, I wouldn't have a lot of money, but I might be able to buy a pack of cigarettes.

I think I'm okay. I'll be fine, in time. Unsurprisingly, at this point in time, I'm wishing I had had more time with him. But, who wouldn't? Who would say, "Well, we had enough time together. It was great. I don't need any more."?

Rest in Peace, Uncle Bruce. I'm going to miss you, regardless. And, do me a favor while you're up there: give George Harrison a hug for me :)

PS-- Thanks to everyone for their support :) You know who you are. <3

Big Paper Done!

2009-12-02T03:37:00.002-06:00

UGH! Here it is. The single most frustrating thing I've had to do for awhile. It's finished. Hope you don't hate it.

Jennifer Neuha
Big Paper
December 2, 2009

The Dangers of Extremists in Today’s Media.

There is a fine line between being a logical political analyst, and causing harm to a social nation. With free speech comes great responsibility, and sometimes it’s hard to distinguish which side of the fine line analysts choose; being a rational commentator, and perhaps causing destruction to the population. I’m not even sure some analysts really understand the sides they choose. The aftermath of their choices and the destruction within the party isn’t always obvious. Political commentators—the right wing in particular—need to be cautious of what they say to their listeners, followers and constituents.
Sometimes, analysts and journalists hold strongly and passionately to their beliefs, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is a thing called “free speech” (look it up, it’s great) and the media has the right to say just about anything it wants. Because of free speech, it’s hard to tell what is slander and what is just slogans and rhetoric.
What isn’t hard to tell are the unfortunate effects of the words that journalists preach. Things are happening in the political world, and it isn’t by some crazy random happenstance. Without a leader to speak for them, if only slyly, would several members of the Religious Right terrorize abortion clinics? Would Dr. George Tiller have been murdered at his own church? Without leaders in Washington D.C., would the health care debate over the summer have been as racially-charged as it was?
The words of the right-wing media, the Religious Right, and some Republican congressmen/women are too dangerous to be taken lightly. They are speaking to a demographic that adores its weapons and the rights to bear them. This is a demographic that is ridiculously proud to be American, and won’t accept anything that isn’t totally shining with gleaming democracy and shimmering capitalism.
I have evidence that some of the more radical people in this demographic may be ill with power. With pundits such as Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly leading the way, this movement is getting stronger and more violent. What are these journalists/analysts telling these people that are leading to charged political action at the (sometimes) grassroots level? It’s possible that the citizens are being fed lies by their own representatives, I think. It’s fine to have an opposing view, but should it be such a strong and violent contrast? I’ve seen politicians lead people into a rousing chorus of hate against an idea or person who doesn’t plan on doing harm, but good. Why would a group of seemingly sane people angrily revolt around a political idea that is designed to help people? How else would people get the notion that the new health care bill is designed to kill old people?
From what I see, it’s action stemmed by fear. The people fear their guns being taken. The people fear their freedom being taken. The people fear their democracy being taken. The people, with all their heart, fear that the America they know and love is changing for the worse. Is it because we have a black president? Some deny it, but it can’t merely be a coincidence.
Glenn Beck was blubbering and crying on his national television program (March 13, 2009) as he introduced his 9/12 March on Washington. He bemoaned that his America had changed too much.

We weren’t told how to behave on that day after 9/11: We just knew....Are you ready to be that person you were that day after 9/11 on 9/12?....I’m sorry. I just love my country, and I fear for it. It seems like the voices of our leaders, and special interests, and the media are surrounding us. It sounds intimidating. But you know what? Pull away the curtain. You’ll realize that there isn’t anybody there. Just a few people that are just pressing the buttons and their voices are actually really weak. The truth is, they don’t surround us—we surround them. This is our country.

And many Americans agree that the shift in political power is an abomination to the America they worship. Or, as some say, it’s an Obamanation.
Now, Beck’s philosophy is something with which anyone can agree. It isn’t radical, it isn’t disastrous. I believe the quote, in some lights, can be inspirational. However, sometimes the extremes of his beliefs lead to radical and disastrous results, but I’ll talk more on that later.

“Tiller the Baby Killer.”

One result from Republican rhetoric could be the murder of a Kansas abortion doctor. A legal abortion is one of the most commonly performed elective surgeries on women in the US. Since 1973, abortions performed by doctors have been legal. Though it has been upheld, many politicians have threatened to abolish abortions from legality. Citing moral and religious reasons, politicians almost always forget about the woman’s right to choose what happens within her own body. Now, I’m not going to get into my own opinions about why or why not abortions should be legal, but the political air surrounding it is sickening.
The woman’s body is sometimes used as a political beach ball, being tossed around without actual regard to the sacred treasure it is. When the woman’s body is given respect, it is to represent a fertile womb that mustn’t be desecrated. What isn’t taken into consideration is the woman’s choice. The debate is boiled down to science and figures, and dates and development. Individual stories and choices are often ignored. But I digress.
On Sunday, May 31, 2009, Dr. George Tiller was assassinated in his own Kansas church (Maddow). He was one of three doctors who performed late term abortions, which are abortions performed after the 21st week (about 5 months) of pregnancy. He was 67 years old.
This was not the first assassination attempt on the doctor. In 1993, he was shot in both arms by a woman named Shelley Shannon (New York Times).
The man who allegedly killed Tiller was a man by the name of Scott Roeder. He is revered as a hero within the Religious Right and anti-abortion movement. For example, items of Roeder’s are being sold on eBay. These items include a drawing of David and Goliath (in which Goliath is labeled “Tiller”) signed by Roeder, and several publications advocating the violence against abortion clinic workers (Kansas City Star).
There is a domestic terrorist movement going on outside Planned Parenthood clinics across the nation. Even though abortion is legal, militias of protestors harass the women going into the clinic. Some clinics even hire escorts to help bring patients in safely. It is perfectly fine to protest a notion with which you don’t agree, but it isn’t all right to start a fire that damages the clinic. Sometimes, protestors even glue the locks to the clinics shut.
The laws protecting these workers and women have been all but ignored. There is an act called the FACE act, which stands for Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances. When the act was implemented during the Clinton administration, many Christian organizations saw it as an attack on free speech (McFarland, Christianity Today). Over the Bush years, the attitude has shifted quite drastically. Many of the acts that FACE protects have been done repeatedly to clinics and doctors across the nation. However, when the local authorities are called, nothing is done. Even if the FBI is called, the cases are left uninvestigated. It’s a sad state where there is terror surrounding the patients of a legal medical practice that was legalized so that women did not have to endure painful illegal abortions that killed many women. Illegal abortions were done out of fear. What are women going to do when the fear is too great to help the women who have made their choice, and done so legally?
I have heard some pretty charged rhetoric coming from the media on the political right. Pundits such as Bill O’Reilly toss nicknames like “Tiller the Baby Killer” (Maddow, June 1, 2009). In the Religious Right, they inform their followers that abortion doctors are terrible people and should be punished (ArmyofGod.com).
“Words have consequences,” explained Frank Schaeffer on the Rachel Maddow show (June 1, 2009). He, with his father Dr. Francis Schaeffer and Reagan’s former Attorney General C. Everett Koop, helped found organizations of the religious right during the 70s and 80s. He claims that some of the rhetoric of the organizations (including his father’s book, A Christian Manifesto) is a “direct line” to the assassination of Dr. Tiller. Schaeffer also mentions that members of the far right movements publicly admit that they didn’t mean any harm or murder to the doctor, but are celebrating with champagne bottles behind closed doors. Having been a member of such groups, I believe he knows what he’s talking about.
Schaeffer goes on to admit that the rhetoric of the Republican party against this nation’s first black president is unjust. Phrases such as “not a real American, secret Muslim, and Anti-Christ” plague Obama. The pundits know full well that what they say has implications that could lead to violence.

If people don’t stand up and actually take back these words, take back these angry words, they are still culpable for the next event that happens, and we need to be able to just call it what it is.
--Frank Schaeffer

The (un)Healthy Debate on Health Care.

This past summer, the debate on health care was brewing like a violent storm in town hall meetings across the nation. In some places, debate was impossible over the incessant shouting at Town Hall meetings. In his Rolling Stone article, Tim Dickinson describes the rally he encountered in Texas where a grocery store set the stage for a mob scene. (He also implies that the mob was carefully organized by a “grassroots organization”, and I’ll explain more on it later.)

On the first day of August, a mob of 200 right-wing Texans stormed the parking lot of a Randalls grocery store in southwest Austin. They were united in a single goal: Disrupt the "office hours" that Rep. Lloyd Doggett, the district's congressman, had scheduled for his constituents. The protesters targeted Doggett for his role in crafting the House's bill to reform health care, brandishing signs that read NO GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE and NO GOVERNMENT COUNSELOR IN MY HOME!!! But their anger seemed to encompass a universe of conservative fears: higher taxes, illegal immigration, socialism. The threat of violence was thinly veiled: One agitator held aloft a tombstone with the name DOGGETT. Screaming, "Just say no!" the mob chased Doggett through the parking lot to an aide's car — roaring with approval as he fled the scene.

The term “health care debate” sounded more like a joke than a reality. For example, I was at a concert this summer, and a musician coined the topical joke, “Two guys walk into a bar to discuss health care.” It shouldn’t have been as hilarious as it was.
However, through the summer’s rhetoric and angry mobs, there have been recent triumphs. In early November, the House of Representatives passed the bill on health care, as reported by the Boston Globe. It has yet to pass the senate, but the senate voted to discuss the bill this month. Journalists are forecasting a heated debate yet to occur about abortion funding in the bill (Hall, USA Today).
In the discussion, we were reminded just how charming the American people can be when their health care is threatened (when, in fact, it was never really ever threatened). Words like “racist,” “fascist,” “Socialist,” and “Hitler” were used interchangeably when describing Barack Obama and his plan. Who was responsible for convincing these people that the president was really just cooking up a secret plot to kill old people? Certainly it wasn’t the old people.
The major setting where these phrases were coined was at town hall meetings during august recess. Angry Americans came out in the masses to shout and cause commotions at these meetings. Many were placed there by fake grassroots organizations. The politicians didn’t even have a chance to speak, whether or not they supported the bill.
There were also instances in which common citizens with legitimate concerns for health care were treated like worse than dirt. A wheelchair-bound woman who was on medications feared of losing her home. I found a disgusting quote that a man alleged, heckling a disabled woman, “A woman in a wheelchair has more rights than me.” (Donohue)
At several of these town hall meetings, citizens were driven in by fake grassroots organizations, painted to look like the real ones. These organizations and their actions are fondly called “astroturfing” (Get it?! Fake grass?) and are usually funded by large corporations. Freedomworks is an example, as is Americans for Prosperity. Investigation was done on the Rachel Maddow show that aired on August 11, 2009 to demonstrate this (in addition to other episodes). She said;

“[They] have every right to participate in these events….What is dishonest is to do it in a way that disguises who they are…. that disguises their financial role in it. These folks have just as much right to try to derail this entire process as anyone else does. But we have the right to know who they are and who is paying them for their efforts.”

We also met the charming fellow, Joe Wilson. In case you don’t remember, he was the man who shouted “YOU LIE!” at President Obama during a special session of congress, and was heard on live, national television. Of course you remember now. Not only was he completely and utterly rude and crass, Wilson was wrong. The topic was whether or not illegal immigrants will be given health care under the new bill. Section 246 states that there will not be health care given to illegal immigrants (Olbermann). It’s one thing to convince constituents of the lies you want them to believe. It’s another thing entirely when you begin to believe them yourself. He did give a paltry apology to President Obama, but has refused to apologize on the House floor (Kiely). However, to be fair, there was much confusion on how proof of citizenship would be proved when receiving health care.
Ironically, in British Parliament, shouting “You Lie!” would be a horrible offense. It isn’t allowed to call another politician a liar. Yet, they are allowed to shout their opinions at will (Flamini).
In addition to the illegal immigrant question, there were several parts about HR 3200 that were unclear. I mean, the bill is over 2000 pages. While it wouldn’t have been much fun to read by any means, it probably would have been a good idea for some politicians to give it a once-over. If possible, they could have looked like less of an idiot in front of their colleagues because they had next to no idea about what they were fighting.
One of these questions was about the public option. What politicians didn’t really get was that it wasn’t “socialist medicine.” Republicans kept telling citizens that if “Obamacare” was passed, we would lose our health care benefits, and we’d have to face death panels, and Grandma would die. This is in no way true. The whole point of a public option is to be an “option”, meaning that one wasn’t forced into it. It also serves as competition for the private insurance options, which are often too expensive for normal consumers.
Sounds like a great idea, right? Well, I think it does. However, Republicans do not want it to pass. Representative Michelle Bachmann has achieved national attention for her quote about becoming “blood brothers” against the health care bill (Neuha).
In addition to bussing people to town hall functions, astroturfing and big corporate funding may be the motive behind the Republican’s resistance to the bill. I mean, why else would a politician not want a health care bill that helps the voters in a tough economy? The bill is designed to help struggling families get the health care they need. Thousands of people die a year because they don’t have health insurance. Would anybody turn away from that argument? For a shiny penny, I believe many politicians (on either side) would abandon their obligation of serving the people.

In the past, specifically during the 1960’s Civil Rights movement, the left was seen as the more radical and outspoken side. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would preach for revolutionary social change against the racist government, pleading for change to help the injustice. Some, like Malcolm X (in his early years) even advocated violence to the opposition.
However, things are different now. America has a new Black president and change has already happened. The right wing doesn’t like change because they liked the way things were while Bush was in office. Two wars, one broken health care system, one sickly planet, and one enormous financial meltdown later, and the American people need a revolution.
As I said, the right wing doesn’t like this. They’re going to try everything in their power to derail change and justice that this country deserves. This includes lying and hateful rhetoric. Commentators (and also some politicians) have been projecting hateful words to listeners and constituents. We cannot allow these words to continue because murders will happen. A casual slip about poisoning Nancy Pelosi’s wine is not a joke. What if someone took that joke a little bit too seriously, Glenn Beck? Would we be less one Speaker of the House?
As Americans, we shouldn’t let politicians take advantage of the scared and the uneducated with their hate rants and fear tactics instead of trying to rectify the inequality. Just that the speakers of rumors are louder and angrier, doesn’t make them any more logical and correct. The despicable language of the right doesn’t solve anything. It only makes the politics between the two parties farther and farther divided. More than ever, America needs solidarity and unity. We can’t let the politicians tear us even further apart. It’s a disgusting action that needs to be rectified. Together, we need to address the problems in hate speech.
Even more, we can’t justify violence against any human being. It is morally wrong and despicable, especially if the crime is based on difference of opinion. Too many terrible events have occurred in history because of differences in race, religion and opinion. Do we really need any more deaths to happen to those who should be protected in this great nation?

---------------

I thought I was going crazy, but half the articles I wanted to use as sources, I couldn't find after the preliminary reading. I'm so fucking exhausted, I probably just imagined those sources. I believe in unicorns.

Two Headed Boy...

2009-11-30T01:34:00.003-06:00

Everything is kind of crashing down on me right now, but I think I'll be okay. I'm like Atlas with a cigarette in my mouth.

I think that if I just go to bed now, and be a good girl tomorrow, everything will be in its right place, and I won't worry and everything will be all right, and I'll be okay.

I'm either a panicking fool, or I'm numb and chill. However, these emotions are never present when they should be. I'll be panicking over not having enough scarves for the weekend, but completely ambivalent over 2 papers and a research project.

Disorder

2009-11-25T00:30:00.002-06:00

I love you, Joy Division.

I realized that this semester might murder me. I'm starting to worry a little bit, because I'm afraid that I might not pass a couple classes this semester. Ugh! I'm so nervous. This isn't fun.

I have 3 major projects due soon. EEEK!

Also, I've been missing classes. This isn't fun.

I really need someone to give me a pep talk. Who wants to come to my room and give me a pep talk? I'll make them grilled cheese.

IDIOTeque.

2009-11-22T23:21:00.002-06:00

I'm having difficulty on my paper. I should probably have more than just internet sources, but even my print sources are from the internet.

Also, the Christian Science Monitor thinks that God should strike and kill Obama. Or something to that effect. Cute, isn't it? Good to know that everything that Jesus Christ once stood for has been shat on and thrown at everyone else, as if we're monkeys (which, apparently we are.)

I did, however, buy Frank Schaeffer's novel Crazy for God, which I'd been wanting to read since the summer. Hopefully, that comes early enough to give me fodder for my essay.

I just can't keep up with the new atrocities that are happening in the Tea Party to keep this paper current.

Anyways, you can watch this for yourself. I <3 Frank Schaeffer.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

What Else is There

2009-11-21T02:07:00.002-06:00

I went too long without being awesome that I have to spend a lot of time making up for it now.

I think everything is going to be okay.

she tied you to a kitchen chair... she broke your throne, she cut your hair...

2009-11-18T00:01:00.000-06:00

it's a "hallelujah" and ice cream kind of night. thanks, roomie :) i don't think you know how much i appreciate you. we're so good to each other, but i think we both feel that the other deserves it more.

up at 6.30 to do my internship thing. then, after class, we find out the fate of my educational future. well, kinda. i mean, i've thought about it, and i really have a lot of options. there are so many different ways this can all go. i have so many choices to make. it's slightly refreshing. i just wish i didn't have to come to these crossroads in the first place.

i also wish i didn't have to see the heartbreak on my nana's face when i told her that i might be taking a semester off. i didn't want her to feel the burden, but apparently she already feels like she's a burden to me. no matter how much i tell her, i can't stress it to her enough that if i didn't want to visit her and help her, i wouldn't do it. i don't think she gets how much i enjoy those nights. it's hard to really ruminate on it, but what am i going to do when... those nights don't happen anymore??

for the love of god, i promise you, this has to be the hardest semester ever. being homeless wasn't great, no, but believe me. if i had to judge this time in my life by the tears i've had to let go, i'm pretty sure the bucket would be overflowing. i've never cried so much a semester.

and why the hell am i listening to dashboard's, "screaming infidelities"?? i know i've been emotional, but if i'm going to be using chris carraba as a crutch, i do believe we've crossed a line.

The American boy you used to date, who would do anything you say...

2009-11-16T00:39:00.003-06:00

My, my. I wish I had one.

Incidentally, I was up very late on Thursday night helping my roommate (who was very intoxicated) that I slept through my Friday classes. I feel like such a fucking ponce. I'm *slightly* behing on my paper, and I have to retake another French quiz. Overall, though, I just feel like an idiot.

Friday is registration. I'm going to have to grow some balls and go to the Enrollment Center's Financial Aid office and see if there's anything I can do to register. Otherwise, I'll be done with school at the end of the semester.
It's a chilling thought that I'd not like to ruminate on, but I guess it's something I have to deal with.

Also, I've been spending a lot of time making bracelets. Remember when I'd make them for everyone I knew? You better believe all my roommates are sporting some pretty tight bracelets. I think I'm gonna make a bunch and sell them on Etsy. I know it's not totally creative, but I learned how to make a "micromacrame" bracelet with duckies on it. I'm gonna make a killing, thanks to this site.

I'm going to work on my paper in hopes of my day being better tomorrow. Not like today was a bad day. I just have to get my head back where it should be.

The not as rough, but pretty rough, draft of my "BIG PAPER"

2009-11-13T04:56:00.003-06:00

I've decided that I'm going to let you--whoever is reading this--to join me as I try to tackle this gigantic paper I'm doing for my English class. I guess I've used this blog as my political soap-box on things like Abortion and Health Care. Now, I gotta put my skills I acquired this summer to the test. You can check out this draft and inform me on whether or not all the Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow(<3) I watched this summer did me any good. Cheers!

There is a fine line between being a logical political analyst, and causing the destruction of a political party. With free speech comes great responsibility, and sometimes, it’s hard to distinguish which side analysts choose. I’m not even sure some analysts really understand the sides they choose. The aftermath of their choices and the destruction within the party isn’t always obvious.
Republicans need to be cautious of what they say to their listeners, followers and constituents.
Sometimes, analysts and journalists hold too strongly and too passionately to their beliefs, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is a thing called “free speech” (look it up, it’s great) and the media has the right to say just about anything it wants. Because of free speech, it’s hard to tell what is slander and what is just slogans and rhetoric.
What isn’t hard to tell are the unfortunate effects of the words that journalists preach. Things are happening in the political world, and it isn’t by some crazy random happenstance. Without a leader to speak for them, if only slyly, would several members of the Religious Right terrorize abortion clinics? Would Dr. George Tiller have been murdered at his own church? Without leaders in Washington D.C., would the health care debate over the summer have been as racially-charged as it was?
The words of the right-wing media, the Religious Right, and some Republican congressmen/women are too dangerous to be taken lightly. They are speaking to a demographic that adores its weapons and the rights to bear them. This is a demographic that is ridiculously proud to be American, and won’t take anything that isn’t totally shining with gleaming democracy and shimmering capitalism.
I don’t like to say it, but some of the more radical people in this demographic may not be right in the head. With pundits such as Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly leading the way, this movement is getting stronger and more violent. What are these journalists/analysts telling these people that are leading to charged political action at the (sometimes) grassroots level? I don’t want to say that the citizens are being fed lies by their own representatives, but something isn’t right. It’s fine to have an opposing view, but should it be such a strong and violent contrast?
From what I see, it’s action stemmed by fear. The people fear their guns being taken. The people fear their freedom being taken. The people fear their democracy being taken. The people, with all their heart, fear that the America they know and love is changing for the worse. Is it because we have a black president? Some deny it, but it can’t be a measly coincidence.
Glenn Beck was blubbering on national television as he introduced his 9/12 March on Washington. He bemoaned that his America had changed too much. “Remember the solidarity felt on the day after 9/11? That’s what I want my America to be like,”** campaigned Beck. And many Americans agree that the shift in political power is an abomination to the America they worship. (Or, as some say, it’s an Obamanation to the America.)
One result from Republican rhetoric could be the murder of a Kansas abortion doctor.
A legal abortion is the number one most performed surgery in the US. Since 1973, abortions performed by doctors have been legal. Though it has been upheld, many politicians have threatened to abolish abortions from legality. Citing moral and religious reasons, politicians almost always forget about the woman’s right to choose what happens within her own body. Now, I’m not going to get into my own opinions about why or why not abortions should be legal, but the political air surrounding it is sickening.
The woman’s body is sometimes used as a political beach ball, being tossed around without actual regard to the sacred treasure it is. When the woman’s body is given respect, it is to represent a fertile womb that mustn’t be desecrated. What isn’t taken into consideration is the woman’s choice. The debate is boiled down to science and figures, and dates and development. Individual stories and choices are often ignored. But I digress.
On Sunday, May 30, 2009, Dr. George Tiller was assassinated in his own Kansas church. He was one of three doctors who performed late term abortions, which are abortions performed after the 21st week (about 5 months) of pregnancy. He was 67 years old.
This was not the first assassination attempt on the doctor. In 1993, he was shot in both arms by a woman named Shelley Shannon.
The man who allegedly killed Tiller was a man by the name of Scott Roeder. He is revered as a hero within the Religious Right and anti-abortion movement.
There is a domestic terrorist movement going on outside Planned Parenthood clinics across the nation. Even though abortion is legal, militias of protestors harass the women going into the clinic. Some clinics even hire escorts to help bring patients in safely. The protesting doesn’t end there; locks to the clinics have even been glued shut.
The laws protecting these workers and women have been all but ignored. There is an act called the FACE act. However, when the local authorities are called, nothing is done. Even if the FBI is called, the cases are left uninvestigated. It’s a sad state where there is terror surrounding the patients of a legal medical practice that was legalized so that women did not have to endure painful illegal abortions that killed many women. Illegal abortions were done out of fear. What are women going to do when the fear is too great to help the women who have made their choice, and done so legally?
I have heard some pretty charged rhetoric coming from the media on the political right. Pundits such as Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly toss nicknames like “Tiller the Baby Killer”. In the Religious Right, they inform their followers that abortion doctors are terrible people and should be punished. *********
This past summer, the debate on health care was brewing like a violent storm in town hall meetings across the nation. In some places, debate was impossible over the incessant shouting at Town Hall meetings. The term “health care debate” sounded more like a joke than a reality. For example, I was at a concert this summer, and a musician coined the topical joke, “Two guys walk into a bar to discuss health care.” It shouldn’t have been as hilarious as it was.
Though the majority of the debate has finished, there is still some ways to go. Some said that the impossible happened this week when the health care reform bill passed the House. It has yet to pass the senate, and journalists are forecasting a heated debate yet to occur about abortion funding in the bill.*** (Star Tribuuuune!)
In the discussion, we were reminded just how charming the American people can be when their health care is threatened (when, in fact, it was never really ever threatened.) Words like “racist”, “fascist”, “Socialist” and “Hitler” were used interchangeably when describing the Commander in Chief. Who was responsible for convincing these people that the president was really just cooking up a secret plot to kill old people? Certainly it wasn’t the old people.
The major setting where these phrases were coined was at town hall meetings. Town hall meetings are when congress folk go back to their districts/states to discuss the current events during August Recess.* Angry Americans came out in the masses to shout and cause commotions at these meetings. Many were placed there by fake grassroots organizations. The politicians didn’t even have a chance to speak, whether or not they supported the bill.
There were also instances in which common citizens with legitimate questions and concerns for health care were treated like worse than dirt. **(see woman in the wheelchair that everyone was well rude to. Maddow.)**
We also met the charming fellow, Joe Wilson. In case you don’t remember, he was the man who shouted “YOU LIE!” at President Obama during a special session of congress, and was heard on live, national television. Of course you remember now. Not only was he completely and utterly rude and crass, Wilson was wrong. The topic was whether or not illegal immigrants will be given health care under the new bill. Section 246 clearly states that there will not be health care given to illegal immigrants. *** It’s one thing to convince constituents of the lies you want them to believe. It’s another thing entirely when you begin to believe them yourself! I think the term is “pathological liar.” I can’t tell you how proud to know that one of them is in Congress, working for me.
Funny; in English Parliament, they’re always angrily shouting things at each other. However, the one thing they cannot shout is, “You lie!”***
In addition to the illegal immigrant question, there were several parts about HR 3200 that were unclear. I mean, the bill is over 1000 pages. While it wouldn’t have been much fun to read by any means, it probably would have been a good idea for some politicians to give it a once-over. If possible, they could have looked like less of an idiot in front of their colleagues because they had next to no idea about what they were fighting.
One of these questions was about the public option. What politicians didn’t really get was that it wasn’t “socialist medicine.” Republicans kept telling citizens that if “Obamacare” was passed, we would lose our health care benefits, and we’d have to face death panels, and Grandma would die. This is in no way true. The whole point of a public option is to be an “option”, meaning that one wasn’t forced into it. It also serves as competition for the private insurance options, which are often too expensive for normal consumers.
Sounds like a great idea, right? Well, I think it does. However, Republicans do not want it to pass. Representative Michelle Bachmann has achieved national attention for her quote about becoming “blood brothers” against the health care bill. ****(My paper, Keith Olbermann, Huffington Post, blah blah blah).
Investigation done by Rachel Maddow exposed the world of “astroturfing” which is fake grass-roots organizations painted to look like real grass roots movements. These fake movements are often paid for by health insurance companies, or firms that lobby for them. Is it possible that the reason why republicans don’t want health care to pass is that health insurance companies are paying politicians to prevent it from passing?
I mean, why else would a politician not want a health care bill that helps the voters in a tough economy? The bill is designed to help struggling families get the health care that is needed. Thousands of people die a year because they don’t have health insurance.
Most Americans want a health care bill to pass, including a public option. When you’ve heard Republicans saying the contrary, they’re either lying, or using a fixed survey done by our pals at Fox News. *** The fixed survey used loaded and biased questions mentioning Obama’s recent Nobel Prize. Plus, if you’re a republican looking to connect with the Republican citizens who voted for you, wouldn’t you watch Fox News, just to hear what you wanted to hear? So the lies you told could be reaffirmed on national television? A bit of an ego-stroke, no?
All in all, the Republicans are lying to us. We can either believe the lies, and swallow the disgusting and hateful rhetoric, or we can actually use our brains. We need to make our decisions based on logic and reason; not based on fear. As Americans, we shouldn’t let politicians take advantage of the poor and the uneducated instead of trying to rectify the inequality. Just that the speakers of rumors are louder and angrier, doesn’t make them any more logical and correct. The despicable language of the right doesn’t solve anything. It only makes the politics between the two parties farther and farther divided. More than ever, America needs solidarity and unity. We can’t let the politicians tear us even further apart. It’s a disgusting action that needs to be rectified.
Let’s make it soon, too, before any more violent crimes are committed to those who should have been protected.

I totally know that I need to work out a lot more kinks, and I think Bill O'Reiley, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, etc. need more face tim in this paper, too. I'll work on it. This thing's gotta be, like, 10 pages single spaced! We've got tons of work to do.

Smoke and Mirrors

2009-11-04T23:07:00.002-06:00

I don't post in here often enough. I wish I did, though. I like to think I have something important to say, but we all think so about ourselves.

I'm ashamed of you, Maine. I thought you could keep it together, but I guess we were all wrong.

I'm also ashamed of you, President Fierce Advocate, and the joke of an administration you lead. If you're going to campaign as a fierce advocate for the rights of the LGBT community, then fucking act on it. As far as DOMA, DADT, and the rights of LGBT across the nation, you get a F minus for giving us hope. You could have told us all that you want voters in Maine to vote No on Question 1, but you didn't say a thing.

This isn't fair. I feel gypped.

but you don't even know my name

2009-10-04T04:22:00.001-05:00

Ugh. It has been--officially--the worst week in all of recorded history. I mean, I could have had it worse, so I shall count my blessings, but really... My week was really bad.

My bank totally screwed me over, I keep seeing glimpses in my best friend that I never want to see, I got incredibly homesick, I was lethartic and exanimate which caused my lack of attending classes, my bank screwed me over again, I don't have the money I need for my phone bill, I lost my student ID, my dad's phone wasn't working when I needed him, and when I didn't want my dad to come to dinner to day he came anyway, even though I hadn't seen my mother in a super long time.

The event that seemed to cause everything to come crashing down on me was Sammo's mother dying, and then me finding out on Wednesday morning. She was like a second mom to me. I adored her. And Friday was the funeral. My first one, at that. It was so sad. I didn't cry (I had cried my eyes out to my mother before even getting on the train to go to the Northside.) but it was so eerie and depressing.

Then, a few hours later, I went to see AFI.

The show, obviously was amazing. I screamed my lungs out. But... I've been noticing a real disconnect. I'm trying so hard to immerse myself back into this band. It would help if my bank wasn't such a jerk so I could actually buy Crash Love, but still. I'm wanting so bad to connect to Jade and Davey (and Javey?) again, but something isn't clicking.

Believe me, I wish it was. I could use this connection more than anything right now.

Washed Out

2009-09-24T22:57:00.003-05:00

It's been awhile since I've written in here.

And now I'll jot a quick something down.

"Howard? Howard? Howard? Howard? Howard? Howard? You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantula's eggs?"
--Vince Noir.

Until next time, Cheers, and stay away from H1N1.

Prizefighter

2009-09-14T02:09:00.002-05:00

If this past weekend is any indication of how the rest of the school year is going to be like, I can make these assumptions:

I will always have tons of homework, and plenty of it will have vague or no instructions at all.

I will be plagued with money troubles.

I will be busy, tired, and unable to spend time with those I love.

I will be super giddy whenever I see him.

A Day of Nothing.

2009-09-06T23:26:00.002-05:00

Let's see. I've been non-stop busy every day since I moved in. Let's recap.

Friday: Moved in, then went to Cub that night.
Saturday: Went downtown, waited for Dad forever, then went to his place to try his new computer.
Sunday: Went to lunch/the MOA with Bob, had to break his heart. My roommates moved in! Had a great night with Lily, too.
Monday: Went to see Inglourious Basterds again, then went out to eat.
Tuesday: I went to Nana's, which was pretty low key.
Wednesday: Dad and I went all the way to St. Paul, then to the MOA where I bought my DVD of Mighty Boosh 3, only to find out it didn't work in Margaret's DVD player because it was a British copy :(
Thursday: I went back to Nana's, did a bit of work. Waited for my parents, but they decided not to show up. Was boring.
Friday: Went back to the MOA to exchange the Boosh, and so Nikki could spend her money. Also moved in some last minute items.
Saturday: Went to the State Fair.

And today, Sunday, was a pretty nothing day. I was so tired. I'm still tired, and my feet are killing me. I did, however, make the trek to Holiday, where I bought an overpriced DiGiorno pizza for Lily and I, and chips for our party tomorrow. Ben and Elsie come back! So we're celebrating tomorrow night. It's going to be awesome, but tiring. Tuesday, I think I'll get ready for classes, maybe have another adventure. Wednesday, as if it would never happen, classes begin.

Also, observe my new obsession.

Mainly Noel Fielding, but most of the show, too.

Ode to August Recess

2009-08-20T16:47:00.001-05:00

I don't usually post poetry here, but I think that this needs to be said:

Ode to August Recess
Since when
was it an option
to rule with fear
in people's hearts?

Since when
was it okay
to persuade America
with hate
and not with love?

Since when
do silly rumors
morph into facts
simply because
the speakers are
louder and angrier?

Since when
have lies been more powerful
than truth
because the lies are not
what people want to hear?

Since when
can God tell you
that you can be president
while we still wait for answers?

Since when
was it a good idea
to capitalize on
the stupid,
the poor,
and the afraid
instead of trying
to fix it?

------------

Want more poetry? I've got some.
http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com and
http://jennifersalome.deviantart.com/

I Make Mixes

2009-08-17T17:39:00.006-05:00

I have to give credit to *m-lucia for this photo: here.

Okay. I just made this mix as a packing mix/end of summer mix. It's more of a packing mix, because if it were really supposed to sum up my entire summer, there'd certainly be more Michael Jackson, Passion Pit, FischerSpooner, Neon Indian and the appearance of Animal Collective's "Summertime Clothes." It was actually way hard for me not to put "Summertime Clothes" on this mix, but it's been on practically all my other mixes this summer. So, whatever. We deal.

Röyksopp, "Remind Me (Someone Else Radio Edit)": I used to love this song when I was younger, and I just recently discovered that it was the same video I used to watch all the time.
La Roux, "Bullet Proof": I've liked La Roux for a long time, but I needed to listen to this song without Elly's crazy make up and the badass CGI in the video.
Holy Ghost!, "I Will Come Back": Reminded me of Too Much Love, and how much I really wanted to go back
Cassettes Won't Listen, "Into the Hillside": I literally discovered this song today, and I loved it.
Friendly Fires, "Kiss of Life": I was pretty shocked when I saw the video for a Friendly Fires (!) song on VH1, and it's been stuck in my head ever since. Also, I find the lead singer's dancing ridiculously attractive. So I've decided that he's probably gay.
Patrick Wolf, "Hard Times": Just a nice song. I don't know much about it, other than I like it. I'll have to listen to it more.
Daestro, "Spritle": This randomly came up in my Last.fm and I fell in love.
The Big Pink, "Dominoes": I really liked "Velvet", but this song isn't too bad. I still live "Velvet" more.
Discovery, "I Wanna be Your Boyfriend": Just like last summer when I couldn't have a mix without Vampire Weekend, I can't have a mix this summer without Discovery. ♥
Nightmare of You, "My Name is Trouble": I just remembered that I saw them open up for AFI 3 years ago. I still don't really care for them, but I looooooove this song. (Also, randomly played on Last.fm.)
Band of Horses, "No One's Gonna Love You": guh. I forgot how much I adore Band of Horses. This song is telling of my current emotions. But really, I just love it.
You, Me, and Everyone We Know, "...Because I Spit Hot Fire": I don't know really anything about this band, but I'm sure they're somewhere in the pages of AP. It's just a nice song. I likes it.
Brand New, "Moshi Moshi": HADSFDUFUDSFSDUIUIOUOIFDHWUI!!!!!!! OMG OCTOBER 4TH!!!!!
Manchester Orchestra, "Shake it Out": IDFOUIOSDFIEJROSEIORS!!!!!!! OMG OCTOBER 4TH!!!!!!
The Last Shadow Puppets, "The Age of the Understatement": Is there really a more attractive band out there than these guys? I don't know why, but I think it's because they both remind me of George Harrison, and we all know how much I adore him.
Radiohead, "Karma Police": I learned the chord progression to this song on my guitar, and I do have to say, I'm terrific at it. So, yeah. Take that.
Cold War Kids, "Saint John": I've been listening to Robbers and Cowards a ton this week. This song has always been my favorite non-single. I just love the soul influence. They're so amazing.
The Honorary Title, "Undone": OFUDSOFIUDSFDS SEPTEMBER 29TH!!!!!
Bon Iver, "Lump Sum": My faaaavorite Bon Iver song. Gives me chills all the damn time.
The Beatles, "Here Comes the Sun": So, cute story. When I was five, I was on the radio, because I called KOOL108 to hear this song, because it was my favorite. To this day, if anyone asks me, "What's your favorite song?" I have to say this one. My favorite band, and my favorite Beatle.
Colin Meloy, "Cupid": Aw. I love this cover. Granted, it's been years since I last heard the original, but this is such a nice song.

I'm a fool.

2009-08-16T02:54:00.001-05:00

I don't deserve you.

(end scene)

At the Bottom

2009-08-11T19:15:00.001-05:00

Today was easily the worst day of work I've had in a really long time. It was so stressful and angering that my whole body ached all afternoon. It's different when it's busy and you have someone helping you. Work isn't so stressful and angering then. When you're already frustrated and pissed, every little thing that every person does just infuriates you. It's so annoying.

I'm really anxious and frustrated for move-in day. I'm hoping all works out well. I found out that I won't be able to see my best friend before move-in day, either. Fail.

I haven't had a cigarette since Sunday night. Since my mom found out, I just haven't felt the need. I have 4 and a half packs of unsmoked Blacks that are supposed to last me until I quit. I just got two texts from people who want me to smoke with them, and I really don't feel like it. I'm really sore, and not to mention I already put on my ducky PJ pants. I've decided I'm not going anywhere tonight.

I'm angry and I want to yell at a chauvinist, right-wing extremist male. Say something sexist/racist in front of me, and you better believe I'll go off on you. I will not apologize.

They aren't the majority, they're just louder.

2009-08-07T21:10:00.005-05:00

I am an uninsured American college student. This means that if I suddenly have a seizure and get hit by a Hummer outside my dorm, I'm fucked, because I have no health insurance. I'm also kind of a hypochondriac, so my biggest fear right now is whether or not my chronic headaches and insomnia is a result of an aneurysm, and can you really overdose on Benadryl?
In short, I'd like to see some health care reform.

Better yet, I'd like to see some discussion on health care reform. You'd have to be living under a rock to not know that at town hall meetings are being disrupted by anti-reformists across the nation.

This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the rhetoric used against Obama and those who are for health care reform. Right-wing extremists are comparing health care reform to the Third Reich and Adolf Hitler. It's terrifying how influential, conservative voices are just riling up the American people. Here are a couple pics I took from http://rachel.msnbc.com:

Frank Schaeffer was on the Rachel Maddow show around when Dr. George Tiller was assassinated. I know I plugged the interview then. Again, he gave a gut wrenching interview and I want to read his book even more now. I'd be talking more and discussing the interview, but he just said everything so eloquently and perfectly, I don't think I could do it any better.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Does anyone else find it startling, maybe even a little disgusting, how Glenn Beck just casually jokes about poisoning Nancy Pelosi's wine?

WOAHHHHHHHMYGOD.

2009-07-30T01:44:00.001-05:00

Brand New are coming back to MN! They're touring with Manchester Orchestra, too! I first found out about Manchester Orchestra while they opened for Brand New around March of '07. That show was FUCKING BRILLIANT because BN played EVERY. SONG from Deja Entendu (from "Tautou" to "Play Crack the Sky") in addition to all my faves from Devil and God. So, in short, even though BN are going to be at Myth, I'm still amazingly excited to see them again. I CANNOT WAIT for October 4th =D

I'm so excited about Daisy (SEPTEMBER 22!!!) that I bought a brand new Brand New shirt:

I don't totally have the money for it, so I feel *kinda* foolish.
BUT OH WELL! OMG BRAND NEW.

Also, if you were missing my writing (which, I'm sure you aren't), I might have some new stuff soon. I've been writing a bit lately. Also, looking for someone who has writing expertise who might want to discuss a story option with me? Please?
My Writing LJ.

I've made a huge mistake.

2009-07-27T17:59:00.002-05:00

My stomach is still touchy from Friday night. I've made a big fool out of myself, and I'm confusing drunken lust with actual feelings, which shouldn't happen. I feel cheated out of something, I feel sick to my stomach. I feel cowardly and scared, but determined and deserving. "Should I Fbook message him? Should I get his number from someone?" And I answer all these questions with a resounding "NO." I'm glad I didn't make any more moves than what already happened in my disillusioned and gutsy state.

And, for some odd reason, this picture just... struck me. I think that it has something to do with the other night, and it sums up my emotions right now like you wouldn't believe.

I'm thinking that I really want to see him soon. I mean, somehow. I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm just nervous I'll make the same mistake I made Friday night, but I think I know better now. I hope I know better now...

Buttfucked by banks.

2009-07-22T03:56:00.002-05:00

I've been in a shitty mood all day. It was probably cause my sister is a hypocrite, and when I point these things out, I get yelled at. Whatever. Or maybe, it's because I can't manage my money *at all*, and I'm continually being buttfucked by banks. Or maybe it's because I'm feeling lonelier than I have ever really cared to admit. I know what can fix this, but I'm a reluctant twat.

How is your writing going? You might ask...
Well, it isn't. I've got words floating in my head, once again, but nothing with which to put them together. This happens, uhm, a lot. Things were great, and I was writing up a storm. But now, things aren't so great. And I'm not really writing at all. I'll admit that I'm not really trying, but at the same time, I hate trying when I know nothing's there. So I'm just going to sit on everything for now. I'll just... sit.

Songs I'm digging right now:
(cause, of course, you care so much.)

Discovery, "So Insane"
Passion Pit, "Eyes as Candles"
One for the Team, "Best Supporting Actress"
Michael Jackson, "Dirty Diana" (DON'T JUDGE ME.)
Miike Snow, "Animal"
Dead Science, "Throne of Blood" (or "Throne_of_Blood"????)
NewVillager, "Genghis On"
Throw me the Statue, "About to Walk"
The Hood Internet, "Billie 'Wildcat' Jean (Michael Jackson vs Ratatat)"
Amazing Baby, "Smoke Bros"

And, all but one of them, I discovered just today. So, huzzah for us.

Pineapple is yum.

2009-07-19T15:16:00.000-05:00

I was just deleting/sorting through my old Photobucket, and I came across some pictures I kind of wish I had never taken.

My dad's in the hospital. He has blood clots in his lungs and legs. They tell us not to be worried, and that he came to the hospital just in time. They're talking about putting a filter in his body to prevent the clots from getting to his heart. I'm not freaking out, but it's kind of hard not to worry. I was slightly distraught last night at work, but I'm doing all right today. He isn't worried; he has cable TV.

I'm thinking about eating some fruit now.

Forgiven.

2009-07-08T01:45:00.003-05:00

Dear Michael Jackson,

I am going to miss you something awful. Yes, I was terrified of you in middle school, but that is the past! Your music will live with us forever. Okay, so I am kind of mad that I had "Billie Jean", "Thriller", "Dirty Diana", "The Way You Make me Feel", "Rock with You", "Remember the Time", and countless other songs of yours ingrained in my brain every day since your death. But that's okay! We can move past it. However, as much as it isn't your fault, I do have to say that I'm mad about something else. Coverage of your death has made getting any sort of valuable news possible. What's going on in Iran. Does anyone know? Also, on the day of your death, coverage on MSNBC made watching my honey, Rachel Maddow, impossible cuuuuz, she wasn't on. In the weeks that followed, a substitute was in her place. Now, this isn't your fault, but it'd be great if I had my wife by my side (on TV) to help me commiserate your death. Now, I worked this morning, meaning I missed your beautiful memorial service because ESPN is the only channel in the world dedicating its time to things women don't care about. I was tired, so I slept through the first airing of Rachel Maddow's show. However, when I wanted to catch the 10pm rebroadcast, your memorial was being broadcast. And when I wanted to watch my favorite airing, the 1am, I was still being met with your gorgeous service. Now, granted, this isn't your fault. But I wanted to say one thing; your daughter, Paris, made me cry several times today. I'm not a sap, usually, but she let the floodgates open. And, since Maddow wasn't on, and I had seen most of the service, I sufficed to my favorite childhood carton, Tom and Jerry. There was an episode in which Jerry gave half of his royalties from his novel (mice write novels?) to the very cat who made his life hell. And you know what? I cried. I cried at a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Thank you, Michael Jackson, for making me cry at "Thriller" and a Tom and Jerry Cartoon.

Sincerely, Jennifer Salome.

PS- Although I will never be an avid fisherwoman, and I stay away from my parents fishing adventures, the following photograph has made me forgive you, King of Pop, because it is just that damn awesome.

headdesk

2009-06-25T16:23:00.001-05:00

College is gonna be expensiiiiive :(
I have no idea how I'm going to pay my way through the year.
Semester, *maybe*, but not year.
I.
Am.
Royally.
Assfucked.

Quick Updates:

2009-06-23T00:29:00.003-05:00

Perez Hilton is a jerk. Not a liar, but a jerk.

My obsession with Devil and God is happening again. I'm writing the stories again, too!!!!

No one has the George Harrison album I want SOFUCKINGBAD.

I have the worst crush on a certain male right now, and I've been really attracted to men lately. Moreso than usual, too.

I will shame myself into quitting smoking if I keep it a secret any longer. This guilt WILL crush me before I even try to live it down.

Tonight was fun. I don't like hanging out with Nikki, though.

I really want to say something to him, but we are, unfortunately, looking for the same thing right now.

I CAN'T SHAKE THIS LITTLE FEELING.

Would I be needed?

2009-06-16T16:32:00.002-05:00

I know you guys are probably sick of me, but I'm still really affected by George Tiller's assasination. It made me want to start working in the medical field, especially Women's health. Maybe even work my way up to "abortion doctor" or something.

But I don't know how to go about it. Do I take classes at Med school, majoring in "OB/GYN"? They don't tell you how to be an abortion doctor.

So, even if I wanted to help women, would I really be needed?

Maybe I'll just stick to teaching.

Maybe it's just me, but I believe...

2009-06-13T16:22:00.003-05:00

I've collected a myriad of opinions lately, and I thought I'd share a few with you all...

If your president fails, your country fails.
I've had a really hard time accepting the words of certain politicians hoping that "Obama's policies fail." I guess I can see why they say it (pouty that McCain didn't win, are we?) but I still don't see why you would want your country's leader to fail. If the leader fails, chances are that his/her country will fail. The United States is already in a slump as it is. Do we really want it to get worse? Do we want even more families homeless and unemployed? If the leader fails, the country fails. I don't think anyone can afford that right now.

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." --Ghandi.
Abortion is not great. I am not pro-abortion. I don't think of abortion as anything more than a last resort. I say, less abortions and more condoms. Let's have sex education that does not praise abstinence as if all students are going to agree. However, I strongly suggest that it should be illegal to harrass abortion clinic workers and vandalize clinics. Oh wait! It is! It's called the FACE act. If the FBI had been notified that Scott Roeder had been vandalizing Dr. Tiller's clinic, maybe Tiller's murder would have been stopped. Oh wait! They were notified! So why is the doctor dead, murdered in his own church? Certain laws are put in place so that people will be protected and safe. If these laws aren't enforced, and red alerts aren't taken seriously, then these laws might as well not exist.

If you're going to say you're a "fierce advocate", then be one.
President Obama was a "fierce advocate" for gay rights... or so he claimed during campaign. He made a campaign promise that he was going to repeal DOMA. Now? Well, check out this story here. Since when has a "fierce advocate" claimed that homosexuality "Invokes incest and marrying children"??? I am fiercely disappointed in you, comrade.

2009-06-10T00:21:00.000-05:00

Ooooh, Superpoop. Once again, the highlight of my day. <3

Trying to be understanding.

2009-06-02T02:19:00.002-05:00

I am undergoing the superhuman task of trying to figure the world out. I have picked one person to help me, and her name is Rachel Maddow.

Now, I'll admit that I have the worst crush on her. But I am not blinded by attraction. No, I have to say that I envy her intelligence. Is it possible that I'm biased because she's gay? Yeah, I can agree with that. However, I've been watching her show for more than six months. If there was anything that I didn't agree with, then I'm pretty sure I'd realize that I didn't agree with it.

I'll also admit that I am a feminist. I believe that women and men should be treated equally, and what have you. About abortion, I don't like the idea. I mean, I'm not the kind of person to say, "Yes, I think abortions are fabulous, and they should happen all the time." I'm not ridiculous. However, women need to have the choice. I don't want to get into the specifics of it, but I'll just say that women need to have a choice.

Dr. George Tiller was murdered this weekend. He was one of very few doctors who would perform late-term abortions. I just want to point you guys toward an interview done on the Rachel Maddow show with Frank Schaeffer about the subject. Pay attention towards the end when he talks about people "taking responsiblity for their actions" [sic]

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I also want to point out this ridiculous picture that I took while trying to Google "Tiller" to find out his first name.

I'll be gone

2009-05-26T19:10:00.001-05:00

I wrote a poem based on Radiohead's "How to Disappear Completely", and ... I likes it :)

I'll be Gone

I am standing
on a barren field of snow
while ice is crumbling around me.
I can’t decide who is my friend
and who is my enemy.
The world has detached itself from me,
and me from it.

I am alone.

I can close my eyes
and I can convince myself that
I am not here and
this isn’t happening.
And as those I love
and those who love them
dart between cracks in the ice,
I can disappear into the cold,
frigid waters.

They are alone.

I can swallow myself in white.
And in a little while,
I’ll be gone.

You were always so beautiful.

Dance dance dance dance dance to the radio...

2009-05-20T03:19:00.002-05:00

(x posted to my LJ, de_gauss_ed)

It was 97 in Minneapolis today. 97 fucking degrees. Did you know that it was 70 on Election Day here? It isn't always cold in MN, I promise. I mean, sure, it does get pretty chilly in Dec., Jan. and Feb., but who caaaaaaares. We reach the 90s in May. Take that, Tejas!

I am in the throes of summer, even though it technically hasn't started yet. MN's spring is very short lived. In fact, I always think MN only really has 2 seasons; winter and summer. We have a very, very short spring, and a small autumn. Our autumn is longer because of the awkward transition period where it's cold as fuck, but isn't snowing. Believe it or not, our first snowfall isn't until late November. Well, first legitamate snowfall. Nothing sticks when it snows in October, which happens.

ANYWAYS. I don't give a shit about anything. I'm kind of in that, "Well, I guess life doesn't totally matter phase." In fact, at a quarter after 3, I just remembered I was supposed to wash my work clothes. Oh wellll. I don't work until 1 tomorrow, so I'll just do it if/when I wake up.

I don't caaaaaaare. Life is decent. I watch Rachel Maddow and get hard ons. I plan on buying an iPod someday. I read my Google Reader obsessively. I don't really get hard ons, just imaginary ones when watching Rachel Maddow. Summer is okay. We'll get by.

Anxiety.

2009-05-06T23:29:00.004-05:00

Apparently, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. http://tinyurl.com/2x73xr

Makes sense, too. I've had a bad stomach ache off and on since before Spring Break. That was when I had to do that whole thing with my housing. Plus, finals week was really stressful. So it makes sense. I have a ton of other symptoms, too. But... I'm home free now. Do I have to still feel this icky?

Started back at DQ today. It, surprisingly, did not suck! I go back tomorrow, too. And Friday. None of my shifts are closing shifts, either. I'm hoping I get promoted, though. I already got a 50 cent raise. Niiiice!

I hate how much I haven't been writing. I have 4 months of summer. My goal is to have a novel finished by the time I go back! It probably won't happen, but seriously! I don't have that much stuff to do over the summer. Can I at least get a few short stories finished? Please?

This fear's got a hold on meeeeeeee.

2009-04-28T01:34:00.002-05:00

So, aside from a few small things, my Creative Writing portfolio is done! Fabulous! I'm really excited about that.

However, I'm not excited about saying goodbye. Tonight was the last time I got to go to my Nana's to help her out, until after the summer. We weren't all that close before this, but we really have grown together since we started it. It's been such a great pairing. I help her not get evicted and keep her place clean and whatever else she needs. She helps me financially stay afloat, which has been the biggest help. Everyone has also been really relaxed because they know that a family member is going to be checking on her at least once a week. I really am going to miss visiting her once a week. And, I don't want to sound too macabre, but ... she isn't going to be alive for very much longer. I don't care if I have to endure an hour and a half of Dancing with the Stars. I will spend every moment with her that I can. I'm really looking forward to doing it again this fall.

I don't want to say goodbye to anyone for the last time. This really could suck. I'm going to miss everyone here. Can we fast forward? Let's press fast forward through all the shifts at DQ and the incredibly boring summer. Let's end up with me in late August with a boatload of cash on my way to the 'Burg. Let's do it.

Argh.

2009-04-24T00:39:00.002-05:00

SO BUSY. I didn't know I could ever have this much stuff to do! I'm wading up to my waist in shit I have to do!

The Great Golden Baby

2009-04-15T02:32:00.003-05:00

It was incredibly awkward this morning, getting out of bed. I went to my window and it was such a gorgeous day. Spring has--for lack of a better cliche--SPRUNG! And I'm rather excited about it. While it isn't even my second favorite season, I was getting really bored with Winter, so I decided I wanted to hang out with Spring for awhile. (And no, I wasn't talking about my M.I.A. roommate.)

However, since it was so sunny and glowy (the day was glowing) this morning, I got a little giddy. Yes, my friends. We're barely a week into Spring (by MN standards, obviously) and I'm already feeling like Summer. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was because the glowing sun reminded me of the mornings before SOAR, and Auggie Days and Gay Pride. Waking up to a sunny morning with a view overlooking my city just reminded me of the good days this summer.

So it made me unnecessarily giddy this morning. I'm enjoying my Spring! I don't want Summer yet because Summer means Dairy Queen and Dairy Queen means Hell.

Speaking of, I didn't want to nap before Religion for fear of sleeping in and missing class. So I decided to ask my dad if he wanted to meet downtown for coffee. Funny, how when I'm with my dad, "Let's get coffee!" quickly turns into Dairy Queen blizzards.
Oh, Tuesday.

I'm a writer!

2009-04-13T02:20:00.003-05:00

And I have an LJ to prove it!
Well, not like it really means anything to have an LJ.
I think I've had 5 over the years?
Whatever.

I think I'm going to start being serious about writing now. I miss it so much sometimes. I get so worked up into a grandiose project, I forget how to write small little pieces of life. Someday, ideas will come to me easy again, like they used to.
And I'll post stuff some of you might have read before.
So, enjoy? I hope you do.
It'd mean the world to me.

http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/
http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/
http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/
http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/

Did you get that? Should I post it again?

http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/
http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/
http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/
http://jennifersalome.livejournal.com/

<3<3<3

Kiosdfuwerasldfl

2009-04-07T01:52:00.002-05:00

'Ello, blog. I missed you.

I worked out today, which was great. I don't do it enough, and I know that. I always expect someone to come with me, but no one ever feels like it/Lily never texts me back. So I don't go. Granted, my productivity was less this time than it has been other times, but oh wellllll. I'll get better if I keep going alone.

I'm starting to feel okay about school. I mean, it shouldn't have had to take 3 months, but whatever. I'm just insecure like that. Ooops.

I get to go back to the mall on Saturday, if not before. We're supposed to go there this week for a Women's Studies project, but who knows.

And ARGH! I just remembered! I have to go to Barnes and Noble tomorrow at Nooooon for Creative Writing. Argh. I wish I had kept that in the back of my head before just now.
At least I remembered it now instead of at 11:50 tomorrow.

I'm going to feed my Neopets (shut up, don't judge me) and then go to bed. I have a big day tomorrow, apparently.

All the Night Without Love

2009-03-27T00:56:00.000-05:00

EXCEPT NOT!
Tonight has been amazing!!!!!
We baked a cake in the first floor kitchen, and all my friends were there.
And I got tons of huuuugs.
It was so awesome to have everyone around.
So far, it's been the best birthday ever!
And I haven't even seen Rent yet!!!!
Be sure, there will be another update soon!
It's been really awesome so far!
THANKS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

The White Flash

2009-03-26T00:14:00.002-05:00

ARGH. I'm so tired, and I can't motivate myself to do anything.
I don't even know if I wanna read my WST homework.
I just really, really wanna relax.
After my adventure yesterday, I'm just pretty beat.
Among other things.
Out of the 9 goals I had on my list, I've only completed 2.
But--
To be fair, I have no idea what "Bday" is supposed to mean on my goal list.
To live until my Bday?
Which is Friday, so...
Unless an unfortunate event occurs,
I should be okay :)
3/9.

Felt up and fingerprinted, we're all waiting for the train.

2009-03-21T18:44:00.002-05:00

I can't seem to motivate myself for shit. I had to do 2 papers over break, and I'm now just starting them. I have to sit at the computer desk because my sister is being a bitch. But that's a long story...

So I keep getting distracted by Neopets (don't judge me), Google Reader, Last.fm, and Twitter. I'm not even on Fbook yet, but that could be a catastrophe.

I don't know the temperature outside, but I have a feeling it's nice, and I wish I could be out there.

Also, it really bothers me when people correct me. When I say, "Shit. I left my favorite scarf at home." I do not mean, "I left my favorite scarf in Zimmerman." I DO mean to say, "I left my favorite scarf at the dorm." I hate sounding somewhat mello-dramatic, but I feel more at home in Minneapolis than Zimmerman. I cannot wait to be back at Augsburg. For some people who have never lived some place they hate, they probably can't comprehend what it's like to be someplace they can't stand. I don't want to be here over the summer! It really, really offends me when someone flippantly says, "Oh, you'll get over it." I don't have to get over it! I've spent 4 years to escape from Zimmerman, only to be forced back ito its hellish cage if only for a week? if I spend a long enough time here, I'm back to the state-of-mind I hate. Only a small handful of people know the hardships that faced me in this shitty hick-town. I am NOT going to get over it, thank you very much.

And I'm not going to tell you the demons that haunt me to this day, thanks to the encounters in this town. You'll have to get closer to me to find out those.

Just want to tell you.

2009-03-18T02:25:00.002-05:00

I would like to kiss some girls now, k? Thanks.

Now that I got that off my chest, I've been pretty addicted to my twitter here: http://twitter.com/jennifersalome. It's lots of fun now that I've figured out how to use it.

Also, Spring Break sucks bad. However, Spring Break in Zimmerman sucks even worse. It just... it's awful. I would only wish it on my worst enemy.

I am not breathing if I'm not breathing in Minneapolis air.

The Highs and The Lows

2009-03-11T01:05:00.003-05:00

With the bad comes good, I suppose. I would hope so, actuallly.

I'm not excited for Spring Break. However, maybe the break will be nice to force me to get my head back on straight.

Hahahaha. Straight. As if I could ever be. Hahahahahaha.

I feel really grateful for all the ladies who have been with me this weekend/beginning of the week. My life has been one big roller coaster, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't holding on very tightly.
So thanks ladies.
Thadies :)

In the event of my misfortunate death...

2009-03-04T02:48:00.002-06:00

Just know that I love you alllllll.
I mean, just that I thought I was going to die last time I gave blood doesn't mean I'll die tomorrow, right?
...
RIGHT!?!?!??!?!?!!

Good to know that if I ever need attention...

2009-02-25T00:21:00.001-06:00

Also good to know: I've turned into the person that I'm sure that no one around me wanted to see.
Awesome.

Lake Michigan

2009-02-18T15:45:00.001-06:00

I'm pretty sure it's nap time right now.
I hate Mondays and Wednesdays.
I don't DO ANYTHING.
Boring as hell.
Let's go work out.
What do you say?
But, I'd rather nap.
So nevermind.
And I might be in a music video...
whatever the fuck that means.

Swallow until I burst...

2009-02-09T23:05:00.002-06:00

Today has been a stupid day. Yeah, I went to all my classes, but I'm still being stupid and not doing a damn thing. And I slept most of the day (Well, from about 10:30-2) so I'm not even tired.
And I feel kinda alienated from the rest of the world. I haven't been very social at all today (save for seeing a few friends at dinner and choir).
I miss Elsie. :(
Also, I think the amount of Radiohead I've been listening to is taking its toll.
And, I JUST got word of my best friend getting into a bad car accident. She had internal bleeding and had to get surgery.
Well, shitttt.
I don't even know if she's going to be okay.

Maybe reading about human sexuality to the tune of "Idioteque" will make me okay?
Who knowsssss.

Infinite Jizz.

2009-02-08T15:30:00.006-06:00

I give you guys a lot of credit for putting up with me lately.
Tonight is going to be so amazing. Are you excited? I'm really excited.
I know it's just the Grammys, but I haven't been this excited since the Backstreet Boys were still around--but we don't talk about that. At any rate, it's going to be pretty awesome. "15 Step" and a marching band?!

PLUS, if you've been to my Facebook, you'll see that I've spammed myself with a plethora of these pictures. It's because Thom Yorke is wearing a scarf. A SCARF. And I guarantee you that there is nothing I love more than guys in scarves. So, if it was even possible, Thom Yorke just gained +20 Jizz points.

ANYWAYS, thanks friends. This too probably might pass soon.

Hint: They're Badass.

2009-02-07T04:28:00.003-06:00

15 Step
2+2=5
A Wolf at the Door
All I Need
Black Star
Bullet Proof, I Wish I Was
Climbing Up the Walls
Electioneering
Everything in its Right Place
Fake Plastic Trees
High and Dry
House of Cards
How to Disappear Completely
I Might be Wrong
I Will
IDIOTEQUE
Karma Police
Kid A
Knives Out
Let Down
Optimistic
Packt Like Sardines in a Crushed Tin Box
Paranoid Android
Pearly
Punchdrunk Lovesong Singalong
Reckoner
Sit Down, Stand Up
Talk Show Host
The Gloaming
The National Anthem
There There
Videotape
Where Bluebirds Fly
Where I End and You Begin

I will give a cookie to anyone who can name what the theme of this list is.
(Hint: I'm pathetic.)
Also, why the fuck is Idioteque so fuckin' special?

I have the right to walk at night.

2009-01-30T00:08:00.002-06:00

After a kind of shitty week, today was nice (aside from the migraine and the crampiness).

I went to the Feminist meeting, and had a great time. Afterwards, we decided to go with Erin and her partner to this Queer Womyn march. It was for this girl who was assaulted in Uptown because some (we assume) men thought she was queer. Lily and I had such a great time! I could have worn my boots, but eh. I'm retarded. And Connie was great fun. So many lesbians/women/general supporters out there to support the girl who got beaten. It was just great to be a part of something, you know? Help contribute to human rights. We have the right to feel safe at night. And as a member of the queer community, I believe that we all have the capacity to change things for the better.

I'm sorry if this blog isn't making any sense. I'm sick, I'm crampy and I'm cold. Haha. Peppermint tea FTW!

Handcuffs

2009-01-24T15:04:00.002-06:00

This song started just as I was going to post. I really don't have anything interesting to talk about, so here's one of my favorite songs.

Brand New, "Handcuffs" off The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

I'd arrest you if I had handcuffs.
I'd arrest you if I had the time.
I'd throw you down in the back seat,
As if you'd committed a terrible crime.

I'd break into a towns worth of houses,
And rob whole families blind.
I'd do it to you like you do it to me,
If you knew you would get away fine.

I'd drown all these crying babies,
If I knew that their mothers wouldn't cry.
I'd hold them down and I'd squeeze real soft,
To let a piece of myself die.

It's hard to be the better man,
When you forget you're trying.
It's hard to be the better man.

I'd arrest you if I had handcuffs.
I'd arrest you if I had the time.
I'd wait for you outside the courtroom;
Taunting when all your appeals were declined.

I'd drive my car off of a bridge,
If I knew that you weren't inside.
With a pedal to the floor,
Couldn't ask for more.
A fantastic way to kill some time.

And you could lay on your back and be beaten.
You could put up your fists and fight.
You could try and be way up.
Way up. Way up. Way up.
Way up. Way up. Way up.
Way up.

It's hard be the better man,
When you forget you're trying.
It's hard to be the better man,
When you're still lying.
It's hard to be the better man,
When you forget you're trying.
It's hard to be the better man,
When you're still lying.
You're still lying.

My room looks like we just had a hardcore party in it.

2009-01-18T04:17:00.002-06:00

I hate getting involved with boys. It's just so much work, and 99% of the time, nothing ever happens. I still think of them, and something/someone will come up and fuck it all up to Hell. Maybe if I would have taken that next step, something may have happened, but I only have myself to blame. It's all so stupid, you know? And I won't ever take the step because I get wayyyy too scared. So, I'm just going to continue to sit out because I'm too much of a pussy, and I didn't have enough vodka in my system to say anything.

Lastly? I almost wish I were continually drunk so that I would never think of what I was doing and I wouldn't ever be sober enough to ruminate on my choices.

Consumed with what's to transpire.

2009-01-14T01:07:00.001-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhhcKxflMY

Sorry, can't imbed it. But it's worth watching. Have you read my LJ? (scroll down for link, I'm too lazy and it's too late to do stupid html.)

End of First Semester mixCD.

2009-01-10T03:13:00.004-06:00

Maybe I'm lame, but I looove making mix CDs. I get really excited about what songs go where, and I like being a big sentimental nerd. Here's the mix I made that will always remind me of my first semester at college, and why.

"Just Dance" by Lady Gaga was chosen because my friend Tesia had it playing in her car one day, and I remembered I had heard it at Too Much Love. I fell in looove with it, and the lyrics "Just dance, it's gonna be okay" was kind of the calming mantra for stupid, stressful times. Plus, it's fun to just dance to :)
"Disturbia" by Rihanna is on here because it's my worrrrst guilty pleasure. I love singing to it.
"Homecoming" by Kanye West is on here because it's my favorite (excluding "Heartless") Kanye song, and it's the only one I know most of the words to. Haha.
"Crimewave" by Crystal Castles is such an amazing song. I first heard it on Pandora, and I thought the robotic vocals were really intriguing. I can't remember them off the top of my head, but they're provacative.
"Drink to Moving On" by The Grand National also came on my Pandora. I wanted a different song, but the other didn't work. As much as I love the other one, this one is also quite great.
"Hittin' Skittles" by Hot Chip is on here because it was allllways stuck in my head at random times. And I loooove Hot Chip.
"And it Rained All Night" by Thom Yorke uhhhh, Thom Yorke? DUH?
"The Night Starts Here" by Stars I actually heard when I was still at home, but I got to listen to it more when I got to school, and it's just a pretty song :)
"Teardrop" by Massive Attack is the "theme song", if you will, to my favorite show, House. As some of you know, I acquired a pretty pathetic House obsession during my first semester. So whenever I hear this song, I think of Thirteen.... and how good of a song it is, I swear.
"Kid A" by Radiohead is on my favorite Radiohead CD, Kid A. Duh. Choosing one Radiohead song is pretty close to impossible, but this one is the title track, so I figured I'd choose this one. Also, during Xmas break, it reminded me just how alienated I feel in Zimmerman. Plus, "Idioteque" didn't fit :(
"Viva la Vida" by Coldplay was accidentally played twice on my last radio show, but I had no lsiteners, so it was okay.
"Cath..." by Death Cab for Cutie isn't my favorite off Narrow Stairs, but I heard it a lot more during the school year, and it reminds me of a friend.
"Chasing Pavements" by Adele is meaningful to me, lyrically. And she's got a great voice.
"A Day like Today" by Tom McRae is also meaning ful to me, lyrically.
"Jesus Christ" by Brand New plays on my mom's phone everytime I call her. And I cannot have a mix without a Brand New song. Going to a Lutheran school, I hear "Jesus Christ" a lot, and every time I do, I finish by singing, "That's a pretty face..."
"Say it Ain't So" by Weezer" is my favorite Weezer song, and I forgot how much I loved it, and then I got their CD for Xmas. It is wayyyy good.
"The Con" by Tegan and Sara was played at the show I saw! I saw Tegan and Sara in October! It was such a fabulous concert. Tegan is super cute. And my friend was super jealous of me and my friend, who were going. My friend would always sing the lyrics to this song wrong, and it made me laugh.
"The Funeral" by Band of Horses made me cry one time, kinda. I might not have known the girl who died, but that doesn't mean I can't be saddened by it. I was, and I don't know why, really.
"Imagine" by John Lennon is probably the best song ever written. It's so touching, and I just love it. Lily and I went to see the John Lennon tribute at First Ave last year ('08, cuz it still doesn't feel like the new year) and it was amazing. If you don't like this song, you aren't human, I swear.

So yeahh... That's my mix. Any thoughts? It's a good mix.

What I Learned Today.

2009-01-06T01:00:00.003-06:00

I have spent the majority of the day watching various news channels. (There was a brief span of time where I watched Yo Gabba Gabba! instead, but we don't talk about that.) After seeing the same footage/hearing the same stories at least 3 times each, I have learned some things about my favorite newscasters/who ever happened to be in the news today.

1-Roland Burris is the junior senator from the state of Illinois.

2-Keith Olberman may be the first person I know--outside of Minnesota--who hates Norm Coleman as much as I do.

3-Puppendential debates + Anderson Cooper = TOO MUCH CUTE.

4-Everyone deserves to have a refridgerator/freezer in their bathroom, because there's nothing worse than taking a long crap without a cold pepsi. Or an ice pack.

5-Roland Burris is the junior senator from the state of Illinois.

6-Brian Engel has fabulous hair. Especially in Gaza.

7-Norm Coleman is, for the most part, getting kicked out of his office at Capitol Hill. Meanwhile, his lawyer is on Fox News explaining that Coleman is still going to win.

8-George H.W. Bush hates America. He haaaaates America.

9-Roland Burris is the junior senator from the state of Illinois.

10-Israelis get madddddd when American figures don't balance out their statements of condolances to warring nations.

11-Rachel Maddow and I are getting married. Ignore the lack of legality, ignore that her and her partner Susan are very happy together. Rachel Maddow and I are getting married as soon as I can propose to her.

12-Sasha and Malia Obama are the cutest kids in the whole world, and I HATE kids.
12.1- The whole damn Obama family is adorable. In fact, I really want to be the puppy they adopt. I'm cute, I can roll over, I can fetch, I can speak, I can shake... And, I'm housebroken.

13-Roland Burris is the junior senator from the state of Illinois.

14-George W. Bush is just itching to get out of the White House. If he could, he would have moved out a month ago and let the Obamas stay there. I think he was prepared for the end of his term in 2006.
14.1-RACHEL MADDOW IS DESPERATE TO KNOW WHY THE BLAIR HOUSE ISN'T HOSTING THE OBAMAS. And if you have ANY IDEA WHY THEY AREN'T, you're supposed to email her. Please, don't let my wife down.

15-DJ Lance is soooooo hottttttttttt.

16-Americans are just (bleeped) off.

17-Norm Coleman will never, ever let anything die.

18-New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson looks a lot like an Oompa Loompa (the new ones.)

(soooo maybe not? but pretty close. Depends on what angle you look at them.)

19-Roland Burris is the junior senator from the state of Illinois.

20-Because I am poor, I have no ethics or morals. None whatsoever.

Resolution.

2009-01-02T06:42:00.000-06:00

I know it's way late/early, but bear with me. I have a resolution to fulfill.

One of my resolutions was to start blogging. I already have a Livejournal, but I wanted to actually have a real blog. I don't really have much to say for now, because I should be getting some sleep soon.
The really strange thing is that I hate the concept of "New Years Resolutions", but I needed another excuse to be somewhat of a narcicist, and I needed an appropriate time to start. (who starts a blog in the middle of December? Uh...)

Good night/Good Morning. I hope 2009 is better than 2008 was.
--Jennifer.

The Women Come and Go

To be honest

How funny.

everything you ever wanted to know about silence.

I'm sorry

Trufax.

We'll censor the ending for me, for you.

One. Big. Dark. Room.

He should have done better.

Hey, you.

I'm the watch you always wear,: hold on!

Today.

I love you, Nana.

I'm back.

Inception.

Writing nerd spam

after everything

I'm trying very hard to be here.

Hallelujah

..."Gentle Lovers"

Oh, you look so tired....

Lewis Takes off His Shirt.

If I was a boy at sea...

Things that annoy me recently.

hold on!

I Don't Know if You Know

Grapevine Fires.

Ladies and Gentleman, A Suburb has Left the Building...

Big Paper Done!

Two Headed Boy...

Disorder

IDIOTeque.

What Else is There

she tied you to a kitchen chair... she broke your throne, she cut your hair...

The American boy you used to date, who would do anything you say...

The not as rough, but pretty rough, draft of my "BIG PAPER"

Smoke and Mirrors

but you don't even know my name

Washed Out

Prizefighter

A Day of Nothing.

Ode to August Recess

I Make Mixes

I'm a fool.

At the Bottom

They aren't the majority, they're just louder.

WOAHHHHHHHMYGOD.

I've made a huge mistake.

Buttfucked by banks.

Pineapple is yum.

Forgiven.

*headdesk*

Quick Updates:

Would I be needed?

Maybe it's just me, but I believe...

Trying to be understanding.

I'll be gone

Dance dance dance dance dance to the radio...

Anxiety.

This fear's got a hold on meeeeeeee.

Argh.

The Great Golden Baby

I'm a writer!

Kiosdfuwerasldfl

All the Night Without Love

The White Flash

Felt up and fingerprinted, we're all waiting for the train.

Just want to tell you.

The Highs and The Lows

In the event of my misfortunate death...

Good to know that if I ever need attention...

Lake Michigan

Swallow until I burst...

Infinite Jizz.

Hint: They're Badass.

I have the right to walk at night.

Handcuffs

My room looks like we just had a hardcore party in it.

Consumed with what's to transpire.

End of First Semester mixCD.

headdesk